How to feel better

Finding joy (and sanity) when the big sad hits

Oct 15, 2024

Every so often, my subconscious waves a little blue flag and tells me something's wrong.

It's usually a simple fix - maybe I didn't get enough sleep, or I haven't spoken to a friend in a while, or it's just a melancholy day. Sometimes it's something a little heavier that takes longer to work through.

Either way, I find it hard to figure out how to feel better when I'm in the thick of it, and - just in case you feel the same way - here's a few ways to look after ourselves when we're under the emotional weather x

When you’re feeling melancholy

When the going gets tough, the tough start romanticizing the shit out of the mundane.

Get yourself flowers: Supermarket flowers, fancy flowers, stolen-from-your-local-park flowers. They’re all good. Put them in a vase that makes you happy and remember that you deserve beautiful things.
Music: Listen to All Rise by Blue and pretend you’re in a 90s boyband until the melancholy passes.
Pinterest: Make a vision board to remind yourself that life isn’t all bad. Design a new wardrobe, or collect the weirdest memes you can find - whatever brings you joy.
Manicure: Get your nails done and practice flipping people off.
Take care of/acquire a houseplant: Remember to look after yourself while you look after your leaf baby.

When you’re struck down by the big blue

Sad days are human - be gentle with yourself.

Takeout: Order yourself some doordash or uber eats. Put on your favourite pajamas and do something restful (play a cosy game, take a bath, read a book, touch some grass etc.) until your food arrives. Watch a classic Barbie movie or sit outside while you eat.
Get moving: Stretch, go for an ocean swim, dance, do some yoga. Get your blood flowing and remind yourself that you’re more than a bad feeling.
Meditate, or listen to an affirmations playlist: Get out of your head, take a few good deep breaths, and be conscious about self-soothing. I’d strongly recommend Spotify’s Self Love Affirmations by Kinder Records.
Journal: Identify where this is coming from. Explore the feeling. Make a list of things you love and that make you happy.

When you’re utterly wretched

Never stop fighting for yourself. Remember that this too shall pass.

Phone a friend: Call your mum, your sibling, your friend, your partner. Tell someone you trust that you’re having a hard time, and that you need them. Be proud of yourself for reaching out.
Ground yourself: Find five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Try aromatherapy: Buy a cheap diffuser and add a hearty dash of lavender oil.
Seek professional help: It can be scary and difficult, but it’s always worth it. If - for whatever reason - traditional counseling isn’t for you, explore substitutes like mental health apps, alternative therapies (ie. art, music, or animal-based practices), or try guided journaling exercises.
Focus on your breathing: Inhale for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Repeat. Otherwise, deep breath in for four seconds, and slow exhale for eight.

If you are having a mental health emergency, please reach out to one of the helplines or resources listed below: