A Bisexual Awakening in Films

How's a girl supposed to stay straight in these conditions?

Mar 04, 2025

I am Unwell Today, so instead of doing anything serious or productive I’ve decided to compile a list of films that made me bi.

Enjoy my cinematic journey down the path of sin x

9. The Mermaids: Peter Pan (1953)

We all have at least one film from our childhoods which we look back on with a certain degree of ‘well now that wasn’t very cool human rights of you, was it?’ Such is the truth of Peter Pan (1953), and yet the aesthetic palette of the film is still gorgeous.

Awakening little girls to their bisexual inklings was probably not the intent of this film, and yet I would happily let those mermaids drown me. C’est la vie.

8. St. Trinian’s (2007)

As I mentioned in my review of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, I love to see a morally dubious female character. Enter St. Trinian’s school for girls, a veritable smorgasbord of students committed to an impressive array of criminal misdeeds. I don’t think there was any one character who stood out to me in this movie - I was more drawn to the overall aura of feminine mayhem.

7. Alex Munday: Charlie’s Angels (2000)

The image of Alex standing alone in a glittering red gown, champagne in hand, bluntly rejecting advances from hopeful suitors whilst engaging in chic spy shit is one that I carry with me like the sacred heart.

6. Dylan Sanders: Charlie’s Angels (2000)

Proving that it's possible to be both a lover and a fighter, watching Dylan take down a room full of bad guys with her hands tied while making snappy Kung Fu jokes and then moonwalking out of the room was — and is to this day — aspirational.

5. Carmen: Carmen (1984)

I remember NOTHING from this film except that L’amour est un oiseau rebelle was an anthem, and that one scene of Carmen rolling a cigarette on her thigh.

What am I supposed to do with that except let it irrevocably change me as a person?

4. The Mummy (1999)

The Mummy is an established masterpiece of bisexual cinema. I hate to use the word “smorgasbord” twice in this piece, but The Mummy really does offer something for everyone.

Again, I could never single out any one character but the entire film is marvelously camp.

3. Sabina Wilson: Charlie’s Angels (2019)

I don’t feel as though I need to justify having Charlie’s Angels on this list three times. We were all there: We all saw what we saw.

2. Morrighan: Lord of the Dance (1996)

I don’t know how Lord of the Dance became a staple in my childhood home, but thank god it did because it’s a work of art on grainy VHS. The overarching narrative is a basic good versus evil tale drawing on Irish folklore, and stars Michael Flatley as the hilariously arrogant lead (the arrogance is deserved though - this man could dance 35 taps per second). Far more interesting, however, is the character of Morrighan, also known as The Temptress. The consistency here is becoming embarrassing because Morrighan is also - say it with me - a morally dubious female character! The best performance of the entire musical is the moment when she and her (?)coven(?) form an alliance with the main antagonists. Please watch it, it really is the best thing to ever come out of the 90s

1. Poison Ivy: Batman & Robin (1997)

And to bring it home — no surprises here — we have another morally dubious female character!! My memories of this film are a hazy blur of pink, green, and black, interrupted by the occasional closeup of the Bat suit nipples or Arnold Schwarzenegger delivering a spectacularly tacky line with perfect sincerity, but I remember Uma Thurman killing it (literally!! what's a girl to do!!) the entire time.